Too many issues came up this weekend, causing me to board on the negative, pessimist train. I guess it started before today with the water in our basement. Friday night, I was exhausted, but when we saw water, had to get everything up off the floor. Just kept moving until all jobs were done. Talk about kaput. Now today, for some reason I found myself doubting the plans and getting things done. It just seems like we constantly settle with things. I've been walking around with a hole in my shoe, hoping people don't notice. Frustrating. Irritated that I negotiate buying new shoes and rugs as my birthday presents. These are such practical things, do other expect or reason in a similar way? How did I get on this pity bus?
I also received an email about a new sleeper for infants. I just happened to pick up a bassinet from a friend to use today, I couldn't help but be slightly disappointed. I really appreciate her letting me use it, but was surprised at how much it will need to be cleaned. I guess I wouldn't have stored it in that condition. The disappointment came when I realized I couldn't just go and spend the $50 on the new one I just saw today. Reason, they only use it for such a short time and why buy something new like that when this is our last baby? Still, the thought crossed my mind and frustrated me.
After all these thoughts of myself, I thought back to mass this and last week. What am I thinking? This is Lent. This is a time to WAKE UP and not be thinking of myself. We don't have it bad. We are practical. Our kids are healthy. Others seem to give in so many ways. How do these negative thoughts creep on in? So, for now I commit to trying to change my thought process. No more woe is me, pity parties about what I need and don't have. I'll make do, figure it out. The Lord will open my eyes and show me the way. That's all I can ask for.
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